Selected jokes from the net
The tachyon leaves. The bartender says, "We don't serve your
kind here." A tachyon walks into a bar.
Heisenberg was an awful lover.
Whenever he had the right position he never had the right speed, and
whenever he had the energy he never had the time.
Some Helium flows into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve nobles here."
The Helium doesn't react.
A superconductor walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
The superconductor leaves without resistance.
An Hydrogen atom sits at the bar and cries.
The bartender asks, "Hey pal, c'mon, what's the matter?"
The atom says, "I lost my electron!"
The bartender says, "Are you sure?"
And the atom replies, "Yeah, I'm positive!"
A G, E flat and C note walk into a bar.
The bartender asks, "We don't serve minors here!"
So the E flat leaves.
The bar was walked into by a Passive Voice.
QA Engineer orders a beer.
Walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers.
Orders 999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers.
Orders a sfdeljknesv.
Oｒԁèｒｓ å ｂëｅｒ. Orders a ເບຍ.
Orders a'; DROP TABLE BEERS;
- Why have the programmer died in the shower?
- He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
NoSQL walks into a bar. Asks for a beer then sits on the floor.
The bartender asks, "What are you doing?"
NoSQL replies, "I don't use tables."
An engineer, a manager, and a programmer are riding in a car.
They come to a hill and their brakes fail. After careening down the hill
and finally coming to a stop they get out to decide what to do.
The manager says “We need to have a meeting to form a committee to see
what we should do next!”
The engineer says, “Screw that! Give me a pocket knife and some duct
tape and I’ll have us going in no time!”
The programmer looks at them both and says, “Lets push it back to the
top and see if it does it again.”
A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions,
“get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.” He comes home
with a dozen loaf of bread and tells her, “they had eggs.”
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short.
The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards long.
The statistician yells "We got him!"
Geeky post follows. Sane people skip.
So I have installed the Debian/sid on a VM the other day,
containing the newest udev (about this later for suspense).
Then after a reboot I have noticed that the ethernet wasn't
eth0 anymore but somefucking enp0s3, which is
great since it's longer, uglier, seem to be varying from machine
to machine and absofuckinglytely screwing up every configured
stuff around.
First it wasn't obvious. I had a 70-persistent-network.rules
leftover, so I have deleted it, and let the reboot regenerate it.
No lolly.
Reboot actually happily ignored to regenerate the file and it has been
renamed to garbage again. Ooh-kay, that's pretty suspicious, but the file
contain where to generate it.
/lib/udev/write_net_rules (which supposedly creates it) does not
exist. Hey, um, someone accidentally screwed up the udev package? Okay,
let me see…
And it started there. I went to the Debian package tracker to see
where the file has gone. And the tracker said there is no udev in
Debian since 2013. WHAT?! Ohhkay, it's clearly there, how it's not there.
I try to look for the package binary: it's there. Let me see what is the
source package…
Sweet Fucking Jesus!
It is bloody damn fucked systemd!
So what basically happened? The folks behind that infection called
systemd created udev, and they have pulled udev into the systemd
so-called development. Then they started to play systemd'ish with
udev binary, and they have decided that they would like to convert
interface names to garbage just because. And to stay on the safe side
they removed signs of rule generation scripts (instead of, say, redirecting
the admin to the official
bullshit page), so it's absofuckinglutly
nontrivial to figure out what happened.
So they have removed the persistent rule generator, they have
moved the logic into a dozen scattered config (systemd style)
and expect people to find a page like I don't know how.
And I have been immediately removing systemd everywhere, so it is
not present on the machines, so why the fuck should I look for the
problem on the systemd pages? Why, why, because udev is systemd now.
But anyway, the solution is:
ln -s /dev/null /etc/udev/rules.d/80-net-setup-link.rules
Or you can create a /etc/udev/rules.d/70-my-net-names.rules file
with the NAME property a way the systemd page does not describe,
why of course. You go and guess it. Why link the fucking thing on a
page which was created for the people actually suffering from this insolence
and looking for a solution? It would be so wastefully simple.
And it've got my eth0 again.
Fuck systemd. Repeatedly. Till it dies. Then change to the necrophile
stage.